Yeh, I’ve had a few, sold a few, wrecked a few, started loads, tried a few, and shouldn’t have bothered with few more.

If anyones interested in hiring me, my achievements speak for themselves

 

1) can count to 98

2) can read  while barely moving his lips

3) can operate a typewriter hardly using tippex

4) can order beer in 9 languages, whores in 7, and  consular assistance in 16

5) never sleeps in past noon

6) attended schools

7)  Fridge operator

8) can lick stamps and enjoys the taste, even the ones that dont need lickin

9) excellent bubble wrap popping skills

10) can hold breath underwater for 56 seconds

11) tie shoe laces in under 3 minutes

12) can lift up toilet seats with his shoe, even the funny shaped disabled ones

13) never EVER gets mixed up his  left and right shoes

14) can pee in a bottle when driving long distance

15) fluent in cop talk, (alpha bravo charlie delta) etc

16) taught ben how to clean his gutters,

17) can drink 5 pints before going toilet

18) can pick a yale lock with a blockbuster card

19) law abiding,

20) learned about tinternet progressing from yahoo to bing without majur hiccups

21) can flip burgers nay bother

22) will work for minimum wage

23) will also work for maximum wage having studyd neurosurgeonry on wikipedia

24) qualified in the field of; North Korean crowd choreography

25) expert in waterboarding shoplifting suspects

26) Built las vegas in hills of donegal

27) worked for the clampdown

28) gave them enough rope

29) been to the dangerzone

30) never quite figured out when or where to use caps, but nearly figured out spell-check

31) are you still  reading this?

 

 

nuff said about me, If you have a batshit crazy idea then I’m all ears. the madder the better, joint ventures etc (legal mind)